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[13 Nov 2007|03:58am] |
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I dream of collapsing bridges and crashing planes. every night. symbolic. maybe more so than the waterfalls and oranges that are blue on the inside. Maybe it's because my mind is racing through timezones and phone calls...rough landings, vacations, and moutains with snow resting at the top. Maybe my room is too hot, my house is a mess, and the only people I love are too far away from me. One thing I am sure of is that I live in three different worlds. And the only one I am happy in rest somwhere inbetween the airport filled with slot machines and a bay filled with sealions. Only there do I feel like I am home, even if I'm living out of a suitcase and making my way through every hotel on the highway. The only way to stay content is to keep moving. I don't know exactly what I want, all I know is that it's a lot. I wish his mountain wasn't 2,472 miles away from mine. I wish my cell phone worked on either one instead of in between. I wish I would have jumped.
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[29 Jul 2007|01:03pm] |
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[14 Jun 2007|06:32pm] |
Dear Jesus,
Why am I fat? Why is my house not finished? Why am I so tired? Why am I fat?
Love. Lauren
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[10 Jun 2007|01:04am] |
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You may recive what you have lost.
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| roommate needed?!!! |
[08 Jun 2007|05:54pm] |
looking for a roomate, chill, clean person, likes to party, and is reliable.
The house is on 22nd street off of east carson. Own big bedroom, lots of space. Back court yard and basement. $450 + utillities. It's a newly redone house, hardwood floors new appliances all that jazz, plus you can live with two hot girls.
get back at me if your interested!
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[01 Jun 2007|10:55pm] |
if i kill myself because of finals, ricky you can have my projector.
p.s. I hate school so much.
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| fyi. |
[01 Jun 2007|09:57am] |
Messing with me is kind of like asking to get your teeth knocked out.
Messing with me durring finals, when I havent selpt for 2 days is a death wish.
I like getting the last word, but I love a good fight.
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[27 May 2007|11:07pm] |
Optomisum for the future, loss of a lover and releasing of all self doubt. That is my life.
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[02 Apr 2007|01:13am] |
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My life is the shit.
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[29 Mar 2007|12:22am] |
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NYC tomorrow around 7pm. yesss.
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[22 Mar 2007|12:04pm] |
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This is the last time I fall for something like this ever again. I feel like I was just something there to keep you going, to stop you from giving up and falling too far in. I feel nieve and pathetic, most of all played with. You started everything and left me with nothing. I don't think I care anymore. Every once in awhile I get this feeling that I really don't know anyone. I will sit there and think did this person have any substance? Did they teach me anything important? Did they care care about me? And really I keep comming up with more questions than answers. There are no inbetweens, and when it's good it's amazing, and when it's bad its like you dont exist. I've done plently of dumb things, things I should regret but don't, and honestly If i could go back I would have ignored you. I would have told you to fuck off I would have ignored that call, skipped that date. And you would be what you always were to me, nothing. I think you would have made me compromise too much and later I would have really regret it. Leaving with questions is never good, but this time I don't think I mind. It's like you were never even here.
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[20 Mar 2007|10:52pm] |
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Its fucking sad when u go out of your way when a friend needs u, but they can't return the favor. Not even go out of their way, just, simply, call. I'd like to thank the ones who know what have been going on lately and know the things that have happened in the past 2 weeks and have helped. The others, I don't know, u deside when you have some time to take 5 min and ask me how's school, how are ur finals, and act like u fucking care. I come home friday I guess. I wish I wasn't and I leave thursday so shout me a holla.
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[16 Mar 2007|01:09am] |
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"'we think differently at night.' she told me. 'I feel there is an angel in me' she'd say "whom I am constantly shocking" The she would smile and look away, light a cigarette for me. Sigh and rise. and strech. Her sweet anatomy."
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[14 Mar 2007|10:10pm] |
If i die none of you are going to know what happened becasue i dont talk to anyone. or it feels that way.
I'm pretty fucking pumped I will be in NYC most of my break because I hate youngstown and a majority of the people that live there.
Grant in 5 days. oh shitttt.
I had a anxiety attack today, a legit one, my room is a mess, I'm on probation, hmm what else.
4 more photos for BW lab.
4 more for Large Format
Cover redesign project
Read 2 books
3 Page paper
redesign iPod packaging
3 written finals.
Kill me,
I have 102% in my photo classes, suck itttttt.
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[09 Mar 2007|01:30am] |
Just a few notes.
AIP is kicking my ass right now. This whole quarter vs. semester shit is nuts.
Do not ever drink in their dorms, and if you do make them feel bad for you so keep getting warnings.
None of this work is ever going to get done in 2 weeks.
Grant comes home in 12 days. yes yes yes yes yes.
I go to NYC the same day he flys to Cali to live for over a year. cool.
Our NYC trip has managed to cost over 1200 bucks and we haven't even gone shopping yet. don't ask.
No one calls me anymore but Grant. pshhh
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[05 Mar 2007|12:44am] |
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it's too the point where it's getting hard again, and really what do you do? I know what we do, we give up. We run away, no matter if it is by choice or responsiblity.
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[01 Mar 2007|10:52pm] |
I need to get my ass in gear.
grant needs to come home.
and I need to stop getting in trouble at school asap.
oh and find a new roomate. oh and a new place to live.
fuck.
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[28 Feb 2007|02:16am] |
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approx. 2,431 miles away. or 1 day and 12 hours. Thank you google earth.
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